Things I’m Considering Packing Next Halloween (for The Racists)
This past weekend I was caught completely unaware when a racist bombshell of an insult was hurled my way. I barely had time to uncurl my finger before the perps jumped back into their clown car and sputtered off into the night. It was the most tragic of buzzkills in the history of Halloween.
Honestly, I’ve let my guard down. Think I was trippin’ on that rally spirit or somethin’ (“restore sanity,” my ass!) That said, I think next year I’m going to be fully prepared for all of the haters That’s right, kids, Jenny’s getting militant.
I’m gonna need something that can be hurled at someone’s face as well as their vehicle. Something like….
BAM! Shot some wetsy in yo’ face! Or maybe….
I’ll get a whole case of balut eggs, stuff them in my purse and wait for the right moment to strike/duck-fetus-egg your car, muthafucka!
I’ll be pouring this into your beers and trash can punch all night. And you’ll be tasting that cock fish sauce allllllll night long.
Or maybe I’ll make 20 of these stickers and decorate your car with them. Hell, I might just make 200 of them and make it rain on you and your homeboys.
Maybe. But probably not. Call me sane–or insane–but I probably don’t want to do any of that to you, even if you are racist. I think you’re life is probably sad enough without me stating the obvi. And also, quite possibly, I just don’t give a rat’s ass about you. Look around, kids, it’s Halloween. You’re a dime a dozen.
Here’s to better luck next year.
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