Category Archives: Hate-orade Drinkers
Lin-spired Race-Tweet Wars and Peace in Comedy
I know, I know, you’re sick and tired of hearing about Jeremy Lin. He plays basketball and he’s Asian and that’s about it. End of story, right? It should be. If we were living in a post-racial, meritocratic world we’d be saying “Hey, look at this new kid on the Knicks: he’s got game and a lot of potential!” and that would be the last we’d hear about him until he gets on a Wheaties box or cheats on his wife.
The fact is that we can’t talk Jeremy Lin without talking race. Taiwanese Americans, Chinese Americans and Asian Americans in general want to celebrate the fact that Lin is one of only a handful of Asian American basketball players in NBA history–and the first in more than a decade. And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating an underdog who breaks barriers. Well, until the celebration turns into “hype” and fame becomes predicated on race. Then everyone wants you to stop talking about Lin and his accomplishments because it ought not be a “race thing.”
If you share the above opinion, I’ve got news for you: it was a “race thing” long before Lin became starting point guard for the Knicks. It was a “race thing” when people were telling him: ”Go back to China”; “Orchestra is on the other side of campus”; “Open up your eyes.” It is always part of the story, the underdog narrative, and it matters. It’s precisely the racial baggage that makes him such a role model for many Asian American kids who play sports or dream of playing professional sports in this country and need confirmation that it’s even possible and that the barriers aren’t too big. Let’s just accept that and celebrate that and nurture that–can we?
Who am I kidding? We can’t accept that. We’re hopeless. Let the Race-tweet War commence:
Floyd Mayweather Jr.: Jeremy Lin is a good player but all the hype is because he’s Asian. Black players do what he does every night and don’t get the same praise.
Jeremy Whitlock (of Fox Sports, on the Knicks win against the Lakers): Some lucky lady in NYC is gonna feel a couple of inches of pain tonight.
Jenny Hyun (K-Pop songwriter): *A response to Floyd Mayweather that’s really a psychotic, racist Twi-rade against Black people.* (Warning: Clicking this link will make you lose your shit. Try not to lose it in a similarly racist or non-constructive way.)
And let the off-Twitter racial insensitivity commence:
ESPN.com headline: A Chink in the Armor
The Nick and Artie Show (on nationally syndicated KNBR 1050): Most Racist Joke about Jeremy Lin and Asian Americans Contest
UGH. Don’t it all just make your heart hurt? White people, Black people, Asian people: can we STFU already with the hate? All of this smack talk is only going to get you an Internet smack in the face. And all of this tearing other people down is only tearing down yourself and the respective and multiple communities you represent. BE BETTER THAN THAT.
While I’m horrified and ashamed at some people in the media, I’ve also found solace in comedy, a frequent peacemaker and unlikely voice of reason in these, our craptastic times. I’m glad to share with you a few clips that really put Linsanity into perspective and demonstrate how farcical our limited viewpoints and unbending attitudes really are.
SNL Cold Opening: Linsanity Postgame
The Colbert Report: Linsanity!
“Conan” Writer Deon Cole Begs Asians to Leave Basketball Alone
Have you seen any other funny Jeremy Lin clips on the Web? Feel free to send me some links. I’m especially interested in seeing Asian American comedians’ takes on the Jeremy Lin phenom if they’re out there. And I hope one day to see an Asian American on SNL, playing Jeremy Lin or Kim Jong-un or whoever. Like, maybe Ken Jeong, Bobby Lee, John Cho…anyone on this list?
Popularity: 1% [?]
When Race is the Punchline: Asian Jokes on New Girl
New Girl's Hannah Simone (left) and Zooey Deschanel (right)
The other day, after my roommate finished watching Glee (which she is fond of and I am not) she left the TV on long enough for me to start paying attention to it, and I happened to catch the latest episode of New Girl. I’ve seen a couple of episodes of the show before, mainly because I was curious about whether Zooey Deschanel could do comedy (and she can, although it’s simply not my brand of comedy).
The show isn’t terrible, and I can see why people watch it. It’s interesting if only for the set up: one (MPDG) girl living with a group of guys, one person of color living with a group of White people, one person of mixed race commenting on the situation while also being a part of it…quirky enough for comedy gold! Plus, it was created by a woman (Elizabeth Meriwether) and is produced by a team of women and men.
I didn’t have high hopes, but I had higher than normal ones. This week’s “Valentine’s Day” episode killed those hopes. Cranky old man/roommate/probable soul mate of Jess (Deschanel)–Nick (played by Jake Johnson)–has a new lawyer girlfriend, Julia, who’s fond of berating and condescending to her inferiors in racial terms.
Here are snippets from a phone conversation that Julia has with one of her colleagues:
Well, I guess it’s time to take that Chinese head outta that Chinese ass, Ming!
(To Ming) Confucius say ‘You work for ME!’
Meanwhile, Nick and one of Julia’s interns are sitting there listening to the conversation and inexplicably not commenting on it during or afterward. There was no “Hey, that was kinda harsh,” much less a “That was sort of racist.” It was one of those uncomfortable moments for viewers like myself where we expect at least an acknowledgement of (and at most a joke about!) the offensive phrases that were just uttered. It’s like when you tell someone you love them and they give you the vacant eyes. Or maybe more like telling someone you’re having their baby, and they go “Fuck.”
What’s happening is that in that moment the kyriarchy is saying, “Fuck you, viewers who expect stuff. Just fuck you.” In her Bitch Magazine post entitled “TelevIsm: Not Just A Joke” Rachel McCarthy James set up a condition for jokes that depict and reinforce the kyriarchy (systems of oppression):
IF a character on a television reflects or reinforces the kyriarchy through problematic/loaded language or actions.
AND the joke is ignored, applauded or otherwise validated by another character
THEN the joke constitutes a reinforcement of kyriarchy in society.
For me it’s not just a theory; it’s something palpable that gets me right in the gut. It’s a voice in my head that tells me Nobody is standing up for you right now, and you are being marginalized. It’s a microaggresion. And it makes me want to shut the TV off and curse the New Girl writers and type this blog post.
For some reason (probably that I’m a masochist), I didn’t shut off the TV. I kept watching until the end. In the same episode, CeCe (played by Indian Canadian actress Hannah Simone) is seen hanging out with/taking care of her high-on-shrooms boyfriend as he surfs a tire swing at a nearby playground. The boyfriend, probably due to his being high, yells
“I love brown people!”
and Cece replies with “That’s racist, Kyle.” It is at this point that I am befuddled. They choose to comment on race only when someone isn’t sober and therefore cannot fully comprehend that what he said was offensive?
What. are. you. writers. doing?! Was that supposed to make up for the fact that you let Julia’s earlier remarks slide? Is that supposed to show us that CeCe as a woman of color has more of an awareness of racial issues than does Julia, a White woman? There are too many unanswered questions for my liking.
There’s so much potential in New Girl: the episode in question was about Jess being supported by lothario Schmidt (Max Greenfield) to have a one-night stand, and the B story was about Winston (Lamorne Morris) crashing/participating in a Galentine’s party to ask for a second chance from a woman he stood up. It’s got all the makings of a pro-woman sitcom, but it sadly doesn’t deliver in any satisfying way.
Some people have postulated on forums that perhaps the writers are setting up Julia to be the villain to Jess’ Girl Next Door or CeCe’s self-confident Femme Fatale–and by villain I mean Mean Girl, or Bitch. Maybe Nick’s going to realize what a self-righteous racist she is and dump her. But I don’t really want to stick around to find out how these problematic characters will pan out because I cannot stand when writers write women into positions of power (like lawyer Julia) and then waste a golden opportunity by turning them into negative stereotypes instead of giving them good material.
Popularity: 3% [?]
Too Late to Apologize: The Pete Hoekstras vs. The Jeremy Lins
There’s far too many non-apologies going around the Web of late, and I’m sure nobody’s too surprised.
Michigan Senate candidate Pete Hoekstra took down his racist website which featured the racist “Rice Paddy” ad played during the Super Bowl. Hoekstra’s campaign spokesman Paul Ciaramataro said “”Democrats talk about race when they can’t defend their records,” and Hoekstra himself has echoed the sentiment. Hmm, no, I’m pretty sure that Democrats–and even Republicans–talk about race whenever something is racist.
Taking Hoekstra’s “it’s not really about race” lead, sports journalist Jason Whitlock kinda-sorta apologized last weekend (I think Richard Pryor’s at fault or something?) to Knicks superstsar Jeremy Lin for making what a lot of people have called “unfunny” (and some people have called “offensive”) joke about the basketball player following the Knicks win over the Lakers.
To the Pete Hoekstras and Jason Whitlocks of the world, I’d just like to say, in the immortal words of the band One Republic:
It’s too late the apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
Too late, ohhhhh
We don’t need no stinkin’ apologies. The Interwebs have already spoken. If I were Pete Hoekstra, I wouldn’t try to google myself or I might find a whole lotta finger wagging. Oh, and this awesome parody video featuring Ali Wong reprising the role of Rice Paddy Girl.
And you can call him Jason Dimwitlock for thinking he could make light of the Linsanity that’s sweeping the nation. You want funny? See the Colbert Report. Pay attention, Jason Whitlock, for this is how comedy, as they say, is done, son:
You know things are bad when a Harvard economics grad has an easier time getting a job as an NBA point guard than a Wall Street bond trader…
Fans have not come down with a basketball-born disease this intense since Kareem Abdul Ja-botulism.
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Linsanity! | ||||
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Popularity: 1% [?]
Fox Sports Cancels The College Experiment After Airing Racist USC Bit
When you assume you can mock an accent, you make an ass out of you and……just you.
A couple days ago, everyone was talking about the racist Fox Sports “comedy” bit involving Bob Oschack trolling the USC campus for Asian kids with accents to ask about their thoughts on Colorado and Utah joining the Pac-1012. The joke? Oschack wanted to give the newest members of the conference a “good, old-fashioned All-American welcome” from Asian kids whose first language is clearly not English. Not ROFL-ing yet? Apparently someone at Fox Sports did. Watch the video below–only if you want to end up with a firmly furrowed brow.
Well, at least no one outside the network approved. Apparently Fox Sports is now cancelling The College Experiment because of the above video, which shouldn’t really be news because, well, what did you really expect was gonna happen? Oschack opens up for Margaret Cho on tour?
It’s amazing to me that White people still think that White people making fun of foreign accents is a hoot. Actually, the people you’re mocking rarely even register that you’re being funny. Really. I tried to show my parents a hilarious HappySlip video (made by funnywoman and master of the Pilipino accent Christine Gambito) once, and they thought they were watching a reality show about Filipinos. My sister and I were literally doubled over on the couch, our bellies tight, tears streaming out of our eyes. And our mother and father sat perfectly still with stone faces, frozen lips, eyes and bellies. No offense, HappySlip. It’s just that Mom and Dad don’t really “get” why their normal, everyday way of speaking is side-splittingly hilare. (For the record, I do.)
So, if anyone wants to make the argument that I need to “lighten up” and “take a joke,” just know that I can. I only prefer it to be delivered by the right person in the right context. Not from some guy who wants to amble around the foreign students’ hangout spots like a creeper.
Popularity: 1% [?]
Things I’m Considering Packing Next Halloween (for The Racists)
This past weekend I was caught completely unaware when a racist bombshell of an insult was hurled my way. I barely had time to uncurl my finger before the perps jumped back into their clown car and sputtered off into the night. It was the most tragic of buzzkills in the history of Halloween.
Honestly, I’ve let my guard down. Think I was trippin’ on that rally spirit or somethin’ (“restore sanity,” my ass!) That said, I think next year I’m going to be fully prepared for all of the haters That’s right, kids, Jenny’s getting militant.
I’m gonna need something that can be hurled at someone’s face as well as their vehicle. Something like….
BAM! Shot some wetsy in yo’ face! Or maybe….
I’ll get a whole case of balut eggs, stuff them in my purse and wait for the right moment to strike/duck-fetus-egg your car, muthafucka!
I’ll be pouring this into your beers and trash can punch all night. And you’ll be tasting that cock fish sauce allllllll night long.
Or maybe I’ll make 20 of these stickers and decorate your car with them. Hell, I might just make 200 of them and make it rain on you and your homeboys.
Maybe. But probably not. Call me sane–or insane–but I probably don’t want to do any of that to you, even if you are racist. I think you’re life is probably sad enough without me stating the obvi. And also, quite possibly, I just don’t give a rat’s ass about you. Look around, kids, it’s Halloween. You’re a dime a dozen.
Here’s to better luck next year.
Popularity: 1% [?]
