Even Tila Tequlia says shit that makes sense sometimes.

Get ready, cuz I’m about to say some shit. Not just any old kind of shit, “Asian girl shit.” And you will shit your pants, laughing so hard at me, demonstrating just how materialistic, ditzy, Asian and girly I am for your viewing pleasure. What’s that? You don’t think that would be funny? Me neither. Wait, what? You DO think it would be funny? Well, fair enough.

There are tons of people who think that the original viral video Shit Girls Say is funny. Just ask half the people on my Facebook feed or the numerous YouTube users who left surprisingly (and unsurprisingly) positive comments. And I’m trying my hardest to understand why. I’ve concluded that the people who find the video side-splittingly hilare are those who easily identify with the sentiments expressed, either because they’ve said those exact words themselves or because they know women who fit whatever stereotype is being parodied at any given moment. I can tell you, though, that I have both said some of the shit in the video and know women who’ve said said shit, and I still do not find it funny.

Mainly, I’m puzzled at the intent of the video. On the most basic level, it’s simply a stream of disconnected thoughts, themes and conversation snippets that are meant to evoke recognition and bemusement. Also, it’s a dude in drag attempting some sort of observation. On the whole, it seems to paint a rather depressing picture of womanhood. There are moments where we women are depicted as stupid, lazy, nagging, grating, bored, annoyed, forgetful, interested, disinterested, friendly (or possibly falsely friendly), Valley-Girlish, and even passive-aggressive. But there are no moments of strength, power, intelligence or enlightenment–which I realize wouldn’t be funny.

I suppose what we’re laughing at is a stereotype that, like all stereotypes, rings true in some instances. Consider Chris Rock on Black people, Margaret Cho on Koreans and Asians or George Lopez on Latinos. There is one noticeable difference, however, between Shit Girls Say and the acts of the aforementioned comedians. When comedians mock their own race or nationality or gender or sexual orientation, they do so with a self-awareness and self-deprecation that makes for more nuanced social commentary. They’re able to create a space wherein by laughing at themselves we are able to laugh along with them, to recognize our own prejudices, confront them and transcend them.

Shit Girls Say is a far cry from social commentary or satire. In failing to establish a point to the mockery, it fails to illuminate and to initiate change. In failing to be completely offensive, it offends us women who expect more than the ridicule, the pointing and laughing, and the constantly lurking feeling that whenever we express any emotion that isn’t Rainbows and Happiness we are being unfairly judged.

I’ll go ahead and say it: Shit Girls Say is the weakest of weak-ass weak sauce. You can do better.

To my amazement, a few other videos* have come out that pile on the stereotyping. For instance this:

Hai, Shit Asian Girls Say. I dare say this remake is worse than the original. Or maybe I’m simply reacting to it the way that any Asian woman who doesn’t wear Prada!Gucci!Chanel! on a daily basis would. To be honest, there are a lot more references to materialism and body image in this video than in the original. (“Can I have your credit card, please?” “Let’s go shopping!” “Prada Prada Prada!” “Gucci Gucci Gucci!” “Does this make me look fat?”)

I’ll admit that I cracked a smile at “I wish this could go to my boobs instead of my butt!” And there was a faint glimmer of satisfaction at the end when she beat her boyfriend’s ass for choosing Chun Li instead of her at 3 a.m.  BUT, I just about punched my computer screen when they brought out the Bad Driver Asian Lady (1:32). For your information, I’m a DAMN good parallel parker. And several times I wanted to scream “You are not fat!” and “You can go shopping on your own!” Because I tell myself that, and I go shopping on my own, with my own money.

But, see. This is what happens when we watch these videos. Sometimes we find ourselves chuckling; other times we want to rebuke, scorn and lecture our fellow women. We focus so hard on what the Asian girl is doing that we forget there’s a guy there. We forget there’s a patriarchy there, which might explain and inform the stereotype.

We focus so much on what we shouldn’t be and do and say that we forget to write our own stories and carve our own identities. We forget that we Asian girls can make videos too. We can. And when we do, they’ll be a helluva lot funnier than this.

*If you’re feeling particularly masochistic, also see Shit Black Girls Say and Shit Gays Say.

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